Only 10 more days left for Bob here at the office, then he's off to graduate school and some lucky professors and classmates are gonna be in for a real treat. Let's hope we get at least one more good ol' freakout by then. Luckily while I've been paitently waiting for another freakout, Bob's done some pretty awesome wierdness lately.
1. This past Friday there we three of us in the office, Bob, myself and another coworker. The other coworker and I were about to leave to have some lunch when Bob saw us leaving, got up and yelled, "You all are going to have to adjust your plans, I've got to go now, I am getting lunch and have errands to run..now!" He then proceded to run out the door.....what that hell?
2. Yesterday I'm sitting at my desk working and Bob walks by and informs me that well...he needs to fart, but lucky me he's "not gonna fart by my desk today" so he walked around the office for about 5 more minutes then told me he "has decided to fart in the breakroom" I was left wondering what exactly goes on in that mind of his.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I'm a Troll
Yup that's right, Bob called me a "Troll" this morning.
It was about 9:30 and Bob had just rolled into the office and was already on the phone with the print shop wondering why the work he ordered yesterday and like 5:30pm hadn't yet been delievered. I made the mistake of telling him to relax and that it would be ok since they said the work was on the way to our office as they spoke. Bob politely told me "fu&^ you, shut the f*&k up" to which I responded, "please don't use that type of language around me, it is not work place appropriate" He then called me a "Troll" and stormed out of the office to go buy another pack of nicotene gum...
Bob's skurrd
This FREAKOUT happened on Monday, but I've been busy working and am too lazy to post from home so it had to wait until today to get posted...and the best part was, one of the bossmen helped to instigate this one!
Without getting too terribly specific, we have a project at work that we needed to go document some electrical rooms in a building. My boss and I had been there before and heard stories of an electrical worker getting killed there several years ago, and you can still kind of see where he died because that had to repaint that area of the room and such (gross I know) but it provided a great means in which to heckle Bob...always a good thing.
Ok, onto the story....
The three of us are talking and planning out what we need to do for this project and the site visit the next day, so the bossman and I are telling Bob about this room where the dude died and how it was "his first day on the job" and that he got electrocuted so bad he exploded. This goes on for about 5 minutes and Bob starts getting a little twitchey, so we tell Bob that while this did happen, there's no reason for him to be worried as we won't be opening any of the equipment or anything. Well, Bob sits there for a few minutes then informs use that he is "seriously concerned about his safety" and doesn't think he should have to go if his life is going to be in danger.
Fast forward to the next day and we're done our field work and the bossman and I are telling the rest of the office about the "dead-guy paint spot" and Bob becomes quite offended telling me that I'm acting completely inappropriate and that I need to keep my mouth shut and show some respect. I guess Bob's near death experience helped him bond with the guy who got electrocuted there like 10 years ago...wasn't there a movie about something like that once?
Without getting too terribly specific, we have a project at work that we needed to go document some electrical rooms in a building. My boss and I had been there before and heard stories of an electrical worker getting killed there several years ago, and you can still kind of see where he died because that had to repaint that area of the room and such (gross I know) but it provided a great means in which to heckle Bob...always a good thing.
Ok, onto the story....
The three of us are talking and planning out what we need to do for this project and the site visit the next day, so the bossman and I are telling Bob about this room where the dude died and how it was "his first day on the job" and that he got electrocuted so bad he exploded. This goes on for about 5 minutes and Bob starts getting a little twitchey, so we tell Bob that while this did happen, there's no reason for him to be worried as we won't be opening any of the equipment or anything. Well, Bob sits there for a few minutes then informs use that he is "seriously concerned about his safety" and doesn't think he should have to go if his life is going to be in danger.
Fast forward to the next day and we're done our field work and the bossman and I are telling the rest of the office about the "dead-guy paint spot" and Bob becomes quite offended telling me that I'm acting completely inappropriate and that I need to keep my mouth shut and show some respect. I guess Bob's near death experience helped him bond with the guy who got electrocuted there like 10 years ago...wasn't there a movie about something like that once?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
FREAKOUT Friday
Yes I know it's not Friday, but I was too lazy to write about this over the weekend and it happened near the end of the day last Friday.
By now if you've read any of these post I'm guessing it's just a bit obvious that Bob does not handle stress or deadlines so well, usually it results in a freakout of some kind or another.
Well on Friday Bob had a deadline to have some work to our client by 5pm that day. The work had to be sent to the print shop and be delivered about half way around the beltway. After hearing the standard mumbling and banging over by his computer I'm getting excited...will he make the deadline? will he freakout? It's looking good so far for at least a freakout.
Once 3:30 rolls around and Bob still doesn't have what he needs back from the print shop things start to go down hill. By the time it hits 4:00 we're just about in crisis mode. Bob decides that he needs to go pick up the work from the print shop himself and hand-deliver it to our clients as their office closes at 5 and we still don't have anything to give to a Currier. The bossmen agree with Bob and he's getting ready to go...fumbling for the address, running around the office...pretty much stressing himself out.
While the bossmen agree with Bob that he needs to deliver this himself now, they've come to realize what you've figured out by now regarding Bob's stress and how he handles it, so they decide I need to go with Bob....sweet.
By now it's 4:10 and Bob and I still haven't left as it seems Bob is having some issues with Mapquest. So one of our bosses tells us to go and call from the car for directions. "Alright Bob, we'd better go...seriously Bob, let's go" On the elevator ride to the parking garage Bob just about losses it, "Bossman is a #$%& jerk, he's such an @#$% I could have gotten these directions myself, what's his $#@* problem." Unfortunately it's just Bob and I in the elevator. I tell Bob it will be ok, let's just get to the car and start driving. Well after playing navigator and speed monitor (Bob, the speed limit is 55, that means you can go faster than 45 mph) we make it to the client's office by about 4:55 and all is well (aside from Bob nailing the curb on the way out of their parking lot)
At this point I think everything is good, it's about 6:00 and we're getting back to near our office (and where I live) and I ask Bob to drop me off at my place. I didn't think this was a big deal since it'd only be a block or so out of his way but apparently he "doesn't have time for that crap" and it's "too much traffic" for him to handle so he pulls to the side of the road and makes me get out of the car to walk the remaining two blocks home...awesome, thanks Bob.
By now if you've read any of these post I'm guessing it's just a bit obvious that Bob does not handle stress or deadlines so well, usually it results in a freakout of some kind or another.
Well on Friday Bob had a deadline to have some work to our client by 5pm that day. The work had to be sent to the print shop and be delivered about half way around the beltway. After hearing the standard mumbling and banging over by his computer I'm getting excited...will he make the deadline? will he freakout? It's looking good so far for at least a freakout.
Once 3:30 rolls around and Bob still doesn't have what he needs back from the print shop things start to go down hill. By the time it hits 4:00 we're just about in crisis mode. Bob decides that he needs to go pick up the work from the print shop himself and hand-deliver it to our clients as their office closes at 5 and we still don't have anything to give to a Currier. The bossmen agree with Bob and he's getting ready to go...fumbling for the address, running around the office...pretty much stressing himself out.
While the bossmen agree with Bob that he needs to deliver this himself now, they've come to realize what you've figured out by now regarding Bob's stress and how he handles it, so they decide I need to go with Bob....sweet.
By now it's 4:10 and Bob and I still haven't left as it seems Bob is having some issues with Mapquest. So one of our bosses tells us to go and call from the car for directions. "Alright Bob, we'd better go...seriously Bob, let's go" On the elevator ride to the parking garage Bob just about losses it, "Bossman is a #$%& jerk, he's such an @#$% I could have gotten these directions myself, what's his $#@* problem." Unfortunately it's just Bob and I in the elevator. I tell Bob it will be ok, let's just get to the car and start driving. Well after playing navigator and speed monitor (Bob, the speed limit is 55, that means you can go faster than 45 mph) we make it to the client's office by about 4:55 and all is well (aside from Bob nailing the curb on the way out of their parking lot)
At this point I think everything is good, it's about 6:00 and we're getting back to near our office (and where I live) and I ask Bob to drop me off at my place. I didn't think this was a big deal since it'd only be a block or so out of his way but apparently he "doesn't have time for that crap" and it's "too much traffic" for him to handle so he pulls to the side of the road and makes me get out of the car to walk the remaining two blocks home...awesome, thanks Bob.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Craigslist - Day 2
Bosses are still out, and at the request of probably my sole reader at this point, it seemed like another great day to heckle Bob a bit through his Craigslist add :) After some gchatting we thought it might be good to try using an girly sounding e-mail address, so I decided to use the name Chasey Lane, and quickly found out Bob may be a slight porn fan. Here's what we've got so far:
Chasey:
Hi there,
I saw you add this morning, is the room still available?
Thanks and I hope you're having a good Friday!!
Bob:
Ha, yeah right.
Chasey:
Does that mean it's no longer available?
Bob:
Not to pornstars, unfortunately, but if I had my way there might be a different policy.
Chasey:
Why do you say that? That's really too bad you would think or say something like that to me. For your information I am planning to move to DC in August from Kansas. I just finished my undergrad in accounting from KU and am moving to DC for job in that field.
I hope not everyone in DC is as judgemental as you.
Bob:
Don't worry, they are.
Chasey:
Wow, I guess people were right about this "east coast attitude" Everyone I respond to about a place to live seems to give me the same response. I'm starting to get a little desperate. What if I offered to pay $750 a month? I really need a place to live. I'm a nice girl and I really think your roomates would like me, I thought a group house would be a good way to meet people and get my feet wet in the big city...
Bob:
The burden is on you to prove your identity.
Serious requests only, sweetheart.
Bob again:
On second thought, you can save your time.. The room is now unavailable.
Chasey:
On second thought? Wow, aren't there fair housing laws in this town?
Bob:
You aren't sounding like an out-of-towner.
George, that you?
Chasey:
How does a person sound like an "out-of-towner" and who is George? You really have some nerve, first you accuse me of being some kind of adult film star and now you think I am some guy named George? What is wrong with you? If you are so paranoid and dis-trustful, why did you even post something on craigslist in the first place?
Bob:
You need to put yourself in my shoes.
Time to come clean:
who are you?
Man in the mirror, buddy.
Chasey:
In your shoes? You're trying to rent a room out, and I'm trying to rent it from you...I don't know why I am wasting my time anymore, I even offered you above your asking price...you are a paranoid little person....good luck in life.
Bob:
Thanks Chasey, you too. I might have found you more believable if it were not for the lane69 in your email. I don't think I'd have bought in, but you would have had a better chance at baiting me.
Bob again:
So you went to KU, huh? What's your KU address then?
Chasey:
I'm not giving out personal information like that to a wierdo like you, who knows what you would do with that. I can't have random people stalking and hasseling me all day especially boys that clearly have an unhealthy porn fetish. You need to stop being an internet warrior.
Bob:
FAIL
Chasey:
fail? what does that mean? you are becomming boring
Bob:
Bye
Chasey:
does this mean you're not gonna show me the room this weekend?
Bob:
you got it.
Chasey:
how about monday?
Bob:
sorry George, ain't happening.
then bob e-mailed me (chasey) this curious link: http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php
Chasey responded:
thank you for that lovely picture of the spider, however that doesn't do anything for my housing issue, how about we meet for a drink when I'm in town to finalize my job related paperwork in a few weeks?
Bob:
Sounds good.
Chasey:
when/where?
Now we are awaiting Bob's response......what an exciting Friday so far!
Chasey:
Hi there,
I saw you add this morning, is the room still available?
Thanks and I hope you're having a good Friday!!
Bob:
Ha, yeah right.
Chasey:
Does that mean it's no longer available?
Bob:
Not to pornstars, unfortunately, but if I had my way there might be a different policy.
Chasey:
Why do you say that? That's really too bad you would think or say something like that to me. For your information I am planning to move to DC in August from Kansas. I just finished my undergrad in accounting from KU and am moving to DC for job in that field.
I hope not everyone in DC is as judgemental as you.
Bob:
Don't worry, they are.
Chasey:
Wow, I guess people were right about this "east coast attitude" Everyone I respond to about a place to live seems to give me the same response. I'm starting to get a little desperate. What if I offered to pay $750 a month? I really need a place to live. I'm a nice girl and I really think your roomates would like me, I thought a group house would be a good way to meet people and get my feet wet in the big city...
Bob:
The burden is on you to prove your identity.
Serious requests only, sweetheart.
Bob again:
On second thought, you can save your time.. The room is now unavailable.
Chasey:
On second thought? Wow, aren't there fair housing laws in this town?
Bob:
You aren't sounding like an out-of-towner.
George, that you?
Chasey:
How does a person sound like an "out-of-towner" and who is George? You really have some nerve, first you accuse me of being some kind of adult film star and now you think I am some guy named George? What is wrong with you? If you are so paranoid and dis-trustful, why did you even post something on craigslist in the first place?
Bob:
You need to put yourself in my shoes.
Time to come clean:
who are you?
Man in the mirror, buddy.
Chasey:
In your shoes? You're trying to rent a room out, and I'm trying to rent it from you...I don't know why I am wasting my time anymore, I even offered you above your asking price...you are a paranoid little person....good luck in life.
Bob:
Thanks Chasey, you too. I might have found you more believable if it were not for the lane69 in your email. I don't think I'd have bought in, but you would have had a better chance at baiting me.
Bob again:
So you went to KU, huh? What's your KU address then?
Chasey:
I'm not giving out personal information like that to a wierdo like you, who knows what you would do with that. I can't have random people stalking and hasseling me all day especially boys that clearly have an unhealthy porn fetish. You need to stop being an internet warrior.
Bob:
FAIL
Chasey:
fail? what does that mean? you are becomming boring
Bob:
Bye
Chasey:
does this mean you're not gonna show me the room this weekend?
Bob:
you got it.
Chasey:
how about monday?
Bob:
sorry George, ain't happening.
then bob e-mailed me (chasey) this curious link: http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php
Chasey responded:
thank you for that lovely picture of the spider, however that doesn't do anything for my housing issue, how about we meet for a drink when I'm in town to finalize my job related paperwork in a few weeks?
Bob:
Sounds good.
Chasey:
when/where?
Now we are awaiting Bob's response......what an exciting Friday so far!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Craigslist
If anyboy is still actually reading this, I've got a good one today. Now, just to temper expectations a bit, this isn't a FREAKOUT. It's just kind of well me being a bit of a jack-ass and heckling Bob a little bit, but hey...he kind of deserves it from time to time.
This morning Bob came into work and let me know that he had advertised his room on Craiglist because he's trying to find someone to rent it out after he moves. (Bob lives in a group house..and no not the kind for people on the short bus...but maybe that would suit him better) Well I decided that I wanted to see what kind of an add Bob would post on Craigslist, so I spent some time this morning trying to find it...and what do you know?...I did!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/roo/1260700471.html
I figured what better way to spend a Thursday morning while the bosses were out of the office than inquireing about renting the room from Bob. One new (and fake named) hotmail account later and here we go....
Here's what we got so far
To Bob:
I am interested but can i come over and spend a night with you before just to see if i like the place? Maybe you could be the big spoon? Also would it be possible to bring a pet of the barnyard nature?
Thank you.
George
Still no response, so another e-mail to Bob:
I was hoping to hear back from you shortly...is there a specific type of barnyard animals that would perhaps be acceptable? Goats, or an Emu maybe? What about a Lama?
About an hour later I finally got a response:
Sorry dude, I was lying about having a room available. It doesn't seem like you'd fit in anyway, but we'd be willing to explore a shelter arrangement for your animal.
What a bummer, he didn't want to rent me the room so I wrote back:
Why would you lie about having a room available? That is quite troubling to me, I would enjoy living on the U-Street Corridor and thought your groupe home sounded fun. I also have access to several hamsters that I could bring with me. They enjoy watching tv and I'm sure would make a great addition to the theater room you mention.
George
I'm still awaiting his response...
This morning Bob came into work and let me know that he had advertised his room on Craiglist because he's trying to find someone to rent it out after he moves. (Bob lives in a group house..and no not the kind for people on the short bus...but maybe that would suit him better) Well I decided that I wanted to see what kind of an add Bob would post on Craigslist, so I spent some time this morning trying to find it...and what do you know?...I did!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/roo/1260700471.html
I figured what better way to spend a Thursday morning while the bosses were out of the office than inquireing about renting the room from Bob. One new (and fake named) hotmail account later and here we go....
Here's what we got so far
To Bob:
I am interested but can i come over and spend a night with you before just to see if i like the place? Maybe you could be the big spoon? Also would it be possible to bring a pet of the barnyard nature?
Thank you.
George
Still no response, so another e-mail to Bob:
I was hoping to hear back from you shortly...is there a specific type of barnyard animals that would perhaps be acceptable? Goats, or an Emu maybe? What about a Lama?
About an hour later I finally got a response:
Sorry dude, I was lying about having a room available. It doesn't seem like you'd fit in anyway, but we'd be willing to explore a shelter arrangement for your animal.
What a bummer, he didn't want to rent me the room so I wrote back:
Why would you lie about having a room available? That is quite troubling to me, I would enjoy living on the U-Street Corridor and thought your groupe home sounded fun. I also have access to several hamsters that I could bring with me. They enjoy watching tv and I'm sure would make a great addition to the theater room you mention.
George
I'm still awaiting his response...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
gastric freakout!
This isn't much of a post other than to document the fact that Bob stopped by my desk to inquire the whereabout of the bossman and proceded to fart. I then learned that it was an accident and that he's been farting in the office all morning. Well....I hope you accidently shit yourself next time that happens Bob!
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