Only 10 more days left for Bob here at the office, then he's off to graduate school and some lucky professors and classmates are gonna be in for a real treat. Let's hope we get at least one more good ol' freakout by then. Luckily while I've been paitently waiting for another freakout, Bob's done some pretty awesome wierdness lately.
1. This past Friday there we three of us in the office, Bob, myself and another coworker. The other coworker and I were about to leave to have some lunch when Bob saw us leaving, got up and yelled, "You all are going to have to adjust your plans, I've got to go now, I am getting lunch and have errands to run..now!" He then proceded to run out the door.....what that hell?
2. Yesterday I'm sitting at my desk working and Bob walks by and informs me that well...he needs to fart, but lucky me he's "not gonna fart by my desk today" so he walked around the office for about 5 more minutes then told me he "has decided to fart in the breakroom" I was left wondering what exactly goes on in that mind of his.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I'm a Troll
Yup that's right, Bob called me a "Troll" this morning.
It was about 9:30 and Bob had just rolled into the office and was already on the phone with the print shop wondering why the work he ordered yesterday and like 5:30pm hadn't yet been delievered. I made the mistake of telling him to relax and that it would be ok since they said the work was on the way to our office as they spoke. Bob politely told me "fu&^ you, shut the f*&k up" to which I responded, "please don't use that type of language around me, it is not work place appropriate" He then called me a "Troll" and stormed out of the office to go buy another pack of nicotene gum...
Bob's skurrd
This FREAKOUT happened on Monday, but I've been busy working and am too lazy to post from home so it had to wait until today to get posted...and the best part was, one of the bossmen helped to instigate this one!
Without getting too terribly specific, we have a project at work that we needed to go document some electrical rooms in a building. My boss and I had been there before and heard stories of an electrical worker getting killed there several years ago, and you can still kind of see where he died because that had to repaint that area of the room and such (gross I know) but it provided a great means in which to heckle Bob...always a good thing.
Ok, onto the story....
The three of us are talking and planning out what we need to do for this project and the site visit the next day, so the bossman and I are telling Bob about this room where the dude died and how it was "his first day on the job" and that he got electrocuted so bad he exploded. This goes on for about 5 minutes and Bob starts getting a little twitchey, so we tell Bob that while this did happen, there's no reason for him to be worried as we won't be opening any of the equipment or anything. Well, Bob sits there for a few minutes then informs use that he is "seriously concerned about his safety" and doesn't think he should have to go if his life is going to be in danger.
Fast forward to the next day and we're done our field work and the bossman and I are telling the rest of the office about the "dead-guy paint spot" and Bob becomes quite offended telling me that I'm acting completely inappropriate and that I need to keep my mouth shut and show some respect. I guess Bob's near death experience helped him bond with the guy who got electrocuted there like 10 years ago...wasn't there a movie about something like that once?
Without getting too terribly specific, we have a project at work that we needed to go document some electrical rooms in a building. My boss and I had been there before and heard stories of an electrical worker getting killed there several years ago, and you can still kind of see where he died because that had to repaint that area of the room and such (gross I know) but it provided a great means in which to heckle Bob...always a good thing.
Ok, onto the story....
The three of us are talking and planning out what we need to do for this project and the site visit the next day, so the bossman and I are telling Bob about this room where the dude died and how it was "his first day on the job" and that he got electrocuted so bad he exploded. This goes on for about 5 minutes and Bob starts getting a little twitchey, so we tell Bob that while this did happen, there's no reason for him to be worried as we won't be opening any of the equipment or anything. Well, Bob sits there for a few minutes then informs use that he is "seriously concerned about his safety" and doesn't think he should have to go if his life is going to be in danger.
Fast forward to the next day and we're done our field work and the bossman and I are telling the rest of the office about the "dead-guy paint spot" and Bob becomes quite offended telling me that I'm acting completely inappropriate and that I need to keep my mouth shut and show some respect. I guess Bob's near death experience helped him bond with the guy who got electrocuted there like 10 years ago...wasn't there a movie about something like that once?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
FREAKOUT Friday
Yes I know it's not Friday, but I was too lazy to write about this over the weekend and it happened near the end of the day last Friday.
By now if you've read any of these post I'm guessing it's just a bit obvious that Bob does not handle stress or deadlines so well, usually it results in a freakout of some kind or another.
Well on Friday Bob had a deadline to have some work to our client by 5pm that day. The work had to be sent to the print shop and be delivered about half way around the beltway. After hearing the standard mumbling and banging over by his computer I'm getting excited...will he make the deadline? will he freakout? It's looking good so far for at least a freakout.
Once 3:30 rolls around and Bob still doesn't have what he needs back from the print shop things start to go down hill. By the time it hits 4:00 we're just about in crisis mode. Bob decides that he needs to go pick up the work from the print shop himself and hand-deliver it to our clients as their office closes at 5 and we still don't have anything to give to a Currier. The bossmen agree with Bob and he's getting ready to go...fumbling for the address, running around the office...pretty much stressing himself out.
While the bossmen agree with Bob that he needs to deliver this himself now, they've come to realize what you've figured out by now regarding Bob's stress and how he handles it, so they decide I need to go with Bob....sweet.
By now it's 4:10 and Bob and I still haven't left as it seems Bob is having some issues with Mapquest. So one of our bosses tells us to go and call from the car for directions. "Alright Bob, we'd better go...seriously Bob, let's go" On the elevator ride to the parking garage Bob just about losses it, "Bossman is a #$%& jerk, he's such an @#$% I could have gotten these directions myself, what's his $#@* problem." Unfortunately it's just Bob and I in the elevator. I tell Bob it will be ok, let's just get to the car and start driving. Well after playing navigator and speed monitor (Bob, the speed limit is 55, that means you can go faster than 45 mph) we make it to the client's office by about 4:55 and all is well (aside from Bob nailing the curb on the way out of their parking lot)
At this point I think everything is good, it's about 6:00 and we're getting back to near our office (and where I live) and I ask Bob to drop me off at my place. I didn't think this was a big deal since it'd only be a block or so out of his way but apparently he "doesn't have time for that crap" and it's "too much traffic" for him to handle so he pulls to the side of the road and makes me get out of the car to walk the remaining two blocks home...awesome, thanks Bob.
By now if you've read any of these post I'm guessing it's just a bit obvious that Bob does not handle stress or deadlines so well, usually it results in a freakout of some kind or another.
Well on Friday Bob had a deadline to have some work to our client by 5pm that day. The work had to be sent to the print shop and be delivered about half way around the beltway. After hearing the standard mumbling and banging over by his computer I'm getting excited...will he make the deadline? will he freakout? It's looking good so far for at least a freakout.
Once 3:30 rolls around and Bob still doesn't have what he needs back from the print shop things start to go down hill. By the time it hits 4:00 we're just about in crisis mode. Bob decides that he needs to go pick up the work from the print shop himself and hand-deliver it to our clients as their office closes at 5 and we still don't have anything to give to a Currier. The bossmen agree with Bob and he's getting ready to go...fumbling for the address, running around the office...pretty much stressing himself out.
While the bossmen agree with Bob that he needs to deliver this himself now, they've come to realize what you've figured out by now regarding Bob's stress and how he handles it, so they decide I need to go with Bob....sweet.
By now it's 4:10 and Bob and I still haven't left as it seems Bob is having some issues with Mapquest. So one of our bosses tells us to go and call from the car for directions. "Alright Bob, we'd better go...seriously Bob, let's go" On the elevator ride to the parking garage Bob just about losses it, "Bossman is a #$%& jerk, he's such an @#$% I could have gotten these directions myself, what's his $#@* problem." Unfortunately it's just Bob and I in the elevator. I tell Bob it will be ok, let's just get to the car and start driving. Well after playing navigator and speed monitor (Bob, the speed limit is 55, that means you can go faster than 45 mph) we make it to the client's office by about 4:55 and all is well (aside from Bob nailing the curb on the way out of their parking lot)
At this point I think everything is good, it's about 6:00 and we're getting back to near our office (and where I live) and I ask Bob to drop me off at my place. I didn't think this was a big deal since it'd only be a block or so out of his way but apparently he "doesn't have time for that crap" and it's "too much traffic" for him to handle so he pulls to the side of the road and makes me get out of the car to walk the remaining two blocks home...awesome, thanks Bob.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Craigslist - Day 2
Bosses are still out, and at the request of probably my sole reader at this point, it seemed like another great day to heckle Bob a bit through his Craigslist add :) After some gchatting we thought it might be good to try using an girly sounding e-mail address, so I decided to use the name Chasey Lane, and quickly found out Bob may be a slight porn fan. Here's what we've got so far:
Chasey:
Hi there,
I saw you add this morning, is the room still available?
Thanks and I hope you're having a good Friday!!
Bob:
Ha, yeah right.
Chasey:
Does that mean it's no longer available?
Bob:
Not to pornstars, unfortunately, but if I had my way there might be a different policy.
Chasey:
Why do you say that? That's really too bad you would think or say something like that to me. For your information I am planning to move to DC in August from Kansas. I just finished my undergrad in accounting from KU and am moving to DC for job in that field.
I hope not everyone in DC is as judgemental as you.
Bob:
Don't worry, they are.
Chasey:
Wow, I guess people were right about this "east coast attitude" Everyone I respond to about a place to live seems to give me the same response. I'm starting to get a little desperate. What if I offered to pay $750 a month? I really need a place to live. I'm a nice girl and I really think your roomates would like me, I thought a group house would be a good way to meet people and get my feet wet in the big city...
Bob:
The burden is on you to prove your identity.
Serious requests only, sweetheart.
Bob again:
On second thought, you can save your time.. The room is now unavailable.
Chasey:
On second thought? Wow, aren't there fair housing laws in this town?
Bob:
You aren't sounding like an out-of-towner.
George, that you?
Chasey:
How does a person sound like an "out-of-towner" and who is George? You really have some nerve, first you accuse me of being some kind of adult film star and now you think I am some guy named George? What is wrong with you? If you are so paranoid and dis-trustful, why did you even post something on craigslist in the first place?
Bob:
You need to put yourself in my shoes.
Time to come clean:
who are you?
Man in the mirror, buddy.
Chasey:
In your shoes? You're trying to rent a room out, and I'm trying to rent it from you...I don't know why I am wasting my time anymore, I even offered you above your asking price...you are a paranoid little person....good luck in life.
Bob:
Thanks Chasey, you too. I might have found you more believable if it were not for the lane69 in your email. I don't think I'd have bought in, but you would have had a better chance at baiting me.
Bob again:
So you went to KU, huh? What's your KU address then?
Chasey:
I'm not giving out personal information like that to a wierdo like you, who knows what you would do with that. I can't have random people stalking and hasseling me all day especially boys that clearly have an unhealthy porn fetish. You need to stop being an internet warrior.
Bob:
FAIL
Chasey:
fail? what does that mean? you are becomming boring
Bob:
Bye
Chasey:
does this mean you're not gonna show me the room this weekend?
Bob:
you got it.
Chasey:
how about monday?
Bob:
sorry George, ain't happening.
then bob e-mailed me (chasey) this curious link: http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php
Chasey responded:
thank you for that lovely picture of the spider, however that doesn't do anything for my housing issue, how about we meet for a drink when I'm in town to finalize my job related paperwork in a few weeks?
Bob:
Sounds good.
Chasey:
when/where?
Now we are awaiting Bob's response......what an exciting Friday so far!
Chasey:
Hi there,
I saw you add this morning, is the room still available?
Thanks and I hope you're having a good Friday!!
Bob:
Ha, yeah right.
Chasey:
Does that mean it's no longer available?
Bob:
Not to pornstars, unfortunately, but if I had my way there might be a different policy.
Chasey:
Why do you say that? That's really too bad you would think or say something like that to me. For your information I am planning to move to DC in August from Kansas. I just finished my undergrad in accounting from KU and am moving to DC for job in that field.
I hope not everyone in DC is as judgemental as you.
Bob:
Don't worry, they are.
Chasey:
Wow, I guess people were right about this "east coast attitude" Everyone I respond to about a place to live seems to give me the same response. I'm starting to get a little desperate. What if I offered to pay $750 a month? I really need a place to live. I'm a nice girl and I really think your roomates would like me, I thought a group house would be a good way to meet people and get my feet wet in the big city...
Bob:
The burden is on you to prove your identity.
Serious requests only, sweetheart.
Bob again:
On second thought, you can save your time.. The room is now unavailable.
Chasey:
On second thought? Wow, aren't there fair housing laws in this town?
Bob:
You aren't sounding like an out-of-towner.
George, that you?
Chasey:
How does a person sound like an "out-of-towner" and who is George? You really have some nerve, first you accuse me of being some kind of adult film star and now you think I am some guy named George? What is wrong with you? If you are so paranoid and dis-trustful, why did you even post something on craigslist in the first place?
Bob:
You need to put yourself in my shoes.
Time to come clean:
who are you?
Man in the mirror, buddy.
Chasey:
In your shoes? You're trying to rent a room out, and I'm trying to rent it from you...I don't know why I am wasting my time anymore, I even offered you above your asking price...you are a paranoid little person....good luck in life.
Bob:
Thanks Chasey, you too. I might have found you more believable if it were not for the lane69 in your email. I don't think I'd have bought in, but you would have had a better chance at baiting me.
Bob again:
So you went to KU, huh? What's your KU address then?
Chasey:
I'm not giving out personal information like that to a wierdo like you, who knows what you would do with that. I can't have random people stalking and hasseling me all day especially boys that clearly have an unhealthy porn fetish. You need to stop being an internet warrior.
Bob:
FAIL
Chasey:
fail? what does that mean? you are becomming boring
Bob:
Bye
Chasey:
does this mean you're not gonna show me the room this weekend?
Bob:
you got it.
Chasey:
how about monday?
Bob:
sorry George, ain't happening.
then bob e-mailed me (chasey) this curious link: http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php
Chasey responded:
thank you for that lovely picture of the spider, however that doesn't do anything for my housing issue, how about we meet for a drink when I'm in town to finalize my job related paperwork in a few weeks?
Bob:
Sounds good.
Chasey:
when/where?
Now we are awaiting Bob's response......what an exciting Friday so far!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Craigslist
If anyboy is still actually reading this, I've got a good one today. Now, just to temper expectations a bit, this isn't a FREAKOUT. It's just kind of well me being a bit of a jack-ass and heckling Bob a little bit, but hey...he kind of deserves it from time to time.
This morning Bob came into work and let me know that he had advertised his room on Craiglist because he's trying to find someone to rent it out after he moves. (Bob lives in a group house..and no not the kind for people on the short bus...but maybe that would suit him better) Well I decided that I wanted to see what kind of an add Bob would post on Craigslist, so I spent some time this morning trying to find it...and what do you know?...I did!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/roo/1260700471.html
I figured what better way to spend a Thursday morning while the bosses were out of the office than inquireing about renting the room from Bob. One new (and fake named) hotmail account later and here we go....
Here's what we got so far
To Bob:
I am interested but can i come over and spend a night with you before just to see if i like the place? Maybe you could be the big spoon? Also would it be possible to bring a pet of the barnyard nature?
Thank you.
George
Still no response, so another e-mail to Bob:
I was hoping to hear back from you shortly...is there a specific type of barnyard animals that would perhaps be acceptable? Goats, or an Emu maybe? What about a Lama?
About an hour later I finally got a response:
Sorry dude, I was lying about having a room available. It doesn't seem like you'd fit in anyway, but we'd be willing to explore a shelter arrangement for your animal.
What a bummer, he didn't want to rent me the room so I wrote back:
Why would you lie about having a room available? That is quite troubling to me, I would enjoy living on the U-Street Corridor and thought your groupe home sounded fun. I also have access to several hamsters that I could bring with me. They enjoy watching tv and I'm sure would make a great addition to the theater room you mention.
George
I'm still awaiting his response...
This morning Bob came into work and let me know that he had advertised his room on Craiglist because he's trying to find someone to rent it out after he moves. (Bob lives in a group house..and no not the kind for people on the short bus...but maybe that would suit him better) Well I decided that I wanted to see what kind of an add Bob would post on Craigslist, so I spent some time this morning trying to find it...and what do you know?...I did!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/roo/1260700471.html
I figured what better way to spend a Thursday morning while the bosses were out of the office than inquireing about renting the room from Bob. One new (and fake named) hotmail account later and here we go....
Here's what we got so far
To Bob:
I am interested but can i come over and spend a night with you before just to see if i like the place? Maybe you could be the big spoon? Also would it be possible to bring a pet of the barnyard nature?
Thank you.
George
Still no response, so another e-mail to Bob:
I was hoping to hear back from you shortly...is there a specific type of barnyard animals that would perhaps be acceptable? Goats, or an Emu maybe? What about a Lama?
About an hour later I finally got a response:
Sorry dude, I was lying about having a room available. It doesn't seem like you'd fit in anyway, but we'd be willing to explore a shelter arrangement for your animal.
What a bummer, he didn't want to rent me the room so I wrote back:
Why would you lie about having a room available? That is quite troubling to me, I would enjoy living on the U-Street Corridor and thought your groupe home sounded fun. I also have access to several hamsters that I could bring with me. They enjoy watching tv and I'm sure would make a great addition to the theater room you mention.
George
I'm still awaiting his response...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
gastric freakout!
This isn't much of a post other than to document the fact that Bob stopped by my desk to inquire the whereabout of the bossman and proceded to fart. I then learned that it was an accident and that he's been farting in the office all morning. Well....I hope you accidently shit yourself next time that happens Bob!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
after a quite month or so...FREAKOUT
Holy Crap...it's been a while since I've had anything really good to write about...and while there's been a good bit of generall "oddball" behavior from Bob, he hasn't really had a good old-fashioned FREAKOUT in quite some time. What also makes this more exciting is that this is another episode in which I had nothing to do with the FREAKOUT....
Currently the bossmen are out of the office and most of us are going about our projects enjoying the quite office...well not Bob. About 30 minutes ago one of my coworkers g-chatted me "oh good lord bob is going nutso" and then the fun started! As it turns out all I could really hear down at my new location was the standard "jesus christs" and "that's just not gonna work" and other agitated sounding mumbling. Thanks to my helpful coworker I was able to learn the cause....Bob ran out of stuff to do. Rather than surf the net or review his work, Bob decided that he needed to talk to another coworker and have him "give bob some work" This has happened to me too and it's really rather annoying. You give Bob a task...it takes Bob 5 minutes and he's back berating you for more work. Well none of us are you boss Bob. This particular coworker started laughing and telling Bob to "go away" I'm sure you can imagine how well that worked...so far it's cause a few more obscenities and provided me with some afternoon amusement. Hey Bob relax...it might be good for your health!
Currently the bossmen are out of the office and most of us are going about our projects enjoying the quite office...well not Bob. About 30 minutes ago one of my coworkers g-chatted me "oh good lord bob is going nutso" and then the fun started! As it turns out all I could really hear down at my new location was the standard "jesus christs" and "that's just not gonna work" and other agitated sounding mumbling. Thanks to my helpful coworker I was able to learn the cause....Bob ran out of stuff to do. Rather than surf the net or review his work, Bob decided that he needed to talk to another coworker and have him "give bob some work" This has happened to me too and it's really rather annoying. You give Bob a task...it takes Bob 5 minutes and he's back berating you for more work. Well none of us are you boss Bob. This particular coworker started laughing and telling Bob to "go away" I'm sure you can imagine how well that worked...so far it's cause a few more obscenities and provided me with some afternoon amusement. Hey Bob relax...it might be good for your health!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
no clever title
Sorry for the delay in posts, this has been do largely to the recent re-seating....my computer screen is now able to be seen by anyone in the office as my new desk is in a much higher traffic location...plus Bob's been on relatively good behavior since the re-seating. This also could be because he hasn't had any new or approaching deadlines either...not sure which. I do however have some new and exciting news to share.
I've recently learned that Bob's oddness is known not only to our small office, but to other workers in our building. They've noticed him out and about in the building as the "creepy twitchy guy" and have been knocking on the window and waving as well when they see on one of his many meter feeding jaunts each day...it's kind of funny...we can hear the banging on the glass then look out and see Bob sheepishly waive and awkwardly walk away trying not to look at or buidling-mates or us.
I know this wasn't the best post, but I have a feeling that a freakout will occur sometime this month....
I've recently learned that Bob's oddness is known not only to our small office, but to other workers in our building. They've noticed him out and about in the building as the "creepy twitchy guy" and have been knocking on the window and waving as well when they see on one of his many meter feeding jaunts each day...it's kind of funny...we can hear the banging on the glass then look out and see Bob sheepishly waive and awkwardly walk away trying not to look at or buidling-mates or us.
I know this wasn't the best post, but I have a feeling that a freakout will occur sometime this month....
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
FREAKOUT!!!!
Well finally Bob's having another FREAKOUT!! I don't know what it's about (the new seating chart keeps me from seeing as much) but I just heard a really loud "oh jesus" and looked over to see him hitting himself on the head then chewing on his thumb.....sweetness!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Yet another quite day
This whole week has been rather uneventful, I'm not quite sure why, but it's been somewhat disappointing. Not all hope is lost though....I do in fact have something I found rather entertaining to report. It appears as if I'm not the only one that finds a bit of amusement seeing Bob flip-out and maybe antagonizing him just a little.
I believe I've mentioned Bob's parking issues in an earlier entry. As you may remember he refuses to buy a monthly pass and insists on using the parking meter. The beauty of this (aside from him getting tickets and watching him run out to feed the meter) is that he never brings enough quarters with him to work each day. Instead he finds in necessary to raid a cup of change that the boss keeps on his desk. Now in Bob's defense, he does put dollar bills in the cup to pay for the quaters he takes, but this whole process is slightly ridiculous. It turns out one of my coworker thinks this is ridiculous as well. I just learned today that this particular person (when they get to the office before the boss) will do one of two things, 1. take what quaters they can and replace them with nickels and dimes, or 2. just bury the quarters in the bottom of the cup. This hasn't led to a FREAKOUT just yet, but I'm kind of hoping one day there will be no quarters for Bob...that would be funny...and a parking ticket is always good for a FREAKOUT
I believe I've mentioned Bob's parking issues in an earlier entry. As you may remember he refuses to buy a monthly pass and insists on using the parking meter. The beauty of this (aside from him getting tickets and watching him run out to feed the meter) is that he never brings enough quarters with him to work each day. Instead he finds in necessary to raid a cup of change that the boss keeps on his desk. Now in Bob's defense, he does put dollar bills in the cup to pay for the quaters he takes, but this whole process is slightly ridiculous. It turns out one of my coworker thinks this is ridiculous as well. I just learned today that this particular person (when they get to the office before the boss) will do one of two things, 1. take what quaters they can and replace them with nickels and dimes, or 2. just bury the quarters in the bottom of the cup. This hasn't led to a FREAKOUT just yet, but I'm kind of hoping one day there will be no quarters for Bob...that would be funny...and a parking ticket is always good for a FREAKOUT
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
He's Baaack!
No, not another FREAKOUT (at least not yet.) But the exciting news of the morning is that Alex Ovechkin has returned from the hospital and a weekend of rehabilitation. He's got a cast on his left ankle and a re-constructed right foot with a cast as well. But the important thing is that he's back in action and ready to go! Hopefully Bob will be glad to see his friend back at the office :)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Quiet Rainy Day
So far nothing to report.....at all really. Princess Bob has been pretty sedate today, he has put on his headphones and has had his head down working quite diligently. All I can say so far today is that since he whined about how much he answered the phone last week, my other coworker and I have been keeping track of how often he's answered the phone. We didn't want to continue to over-burden him as we had been with that responsibility. So far it's been 6 answers for us, and 0 for Princess Bob. OOOH....it's sounding like we're still having some issues with the white-out right now but there haven't been any swear words quite yet.......slow start to the week
Friday, April 17, 2009
posting pictures is fun!
the cause of Bob's stress
Spend the extra 48 cents on the nice ones Bob...I swear it'll make your life better! Getting Some Religion
Got into the office around 10am today after a morning meeting...and we (Bob) were already in the early stages of a FREAKOUT, what's making this one even better is that I've obviously had nothing to do with it, so far the only casualties are a couple containers of white-out. We've clearly established by now that Bob doesn't handle stress very well, I'd probably say that's his weakpoint. So when we are nearing a deadline or have to get some drawings out in a hurry things get a little dicey for Bob......
I sit down at my desk check the e-mail and such, then I start hearing "jesus christ, jesus christ" (a few more times than just that) and then begin hearing things getting slammed on the desk and paper crumpling. Since I'm not suppose to talk to Bob right now, and I don't think he's a real religious fellow, I just have to guess things are not going so well with the deadline and associated work. I'd say he's getting nice and primed for a good old fashioned FREAKOUT at this point. Then...after about 45 minutes of this it happens "god%$%m this stupid whiteout!" a few plasticy sounding thing hit the desk hard and our hero storms off to the break/storage room. Funny thing is...as with most of Bob's issues, this is kind of his own fault. We normally buy like "papermate" or some other type of nice whiteout stuff, but when Bob was sent to the store he took it upon himself to save the office 48 cents on a pack of like 8 and buy the cheap generic brand...how's that working for you today bud?
I sit down at my desk check the e-mail and such, then I start hearing "jesus christ, jesus christ" (a few more times than just that) and then begin hearing things getting slammed on the desk and paper crumpling. Since I'm not suppose to talk to Bob right now, and I don't think he's a real religious fellow, I just have to guess things are not going so well with the deadline and associated work. I'd say he's getting nice and primed for a good old fashioned FREAKOUT at this point. Then...after about 45 minutes of this it happens "god%$%m this stupid whiteout!" a few plasticy sounding thing hit the desk hard and our hero storms off to the break/storage room. Funny thing is...as with most of Bob's issues, this is kind of his own fault. We normally buy like "papermate" or some other type of nice whiteout stuff, but when Bob was sent to the store he took it upon himself to save the office 48 cents on a pack of like 8 and buy the cheap generic brand...how's that working for you today bud?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Bob Tattled
As if breaking my Alex Ovechkin bobble head wasn't enough today Bob tattled on me today, effectively turning our office into a pre-school. It was somewhat hard not to giggle when my boss came to talk to me, but I didn't think that would help my case too much so I had to lock it up a bit. I learned that my failure to answer my equitable share of phone calls as well as my inappropriate use of the Bobble head had led to a work environment that Bob cannot handle. Unfortunately I don't think this had the desired effect Bob wanted for 2 reasons. #1 He learned Bob broke my bobble head...immature too I know....but I thought he needed to be briefed on all the events that day involving Bob. #2 I was simply instructed not to talk to Bob so much right now until he calms down a bit.....giving Bob the "stink-eye" is enough to instigate a level 4 FREAKOUT....and doesn't require talking.
This has led me to a few conclusions....(yet another numbered list in this entry)
#1 Bob is a communist - he believes everyone in the office needs to answer the phone an equal number of times during the day. This ties into his frustration over the dish situation in the office (he believes we should all take turns doing all the dishes rather than each of us just doing our own as we use them) Bob, give my regards to Fidel!
#2 Bob is actually a cross between Dwight and Andy from "The Office." Earlier I thought there were just some parallels to Dwight, but the shocking display of violence I witnessed today made me think he may actually need anger management....much like Andy.
#3 Bob may need a stronger dose of Nicotine gum, clearly he's still a bit jumpy...or he could just go back to smoking two packs a day...that was nice because it got him out of the office every hour or so.
I'm suppose to sit down with Bob and the bossman sometime soon now...at least it will be good for another entry here and hopefully some more laughs!
This has led me to a few conclusions....(yet another numbered list in this entry)
#1 Bob is a communist - he believes everyone in the office needs to answer the phone an equal number of times during the day. This ties into his frustration over the dish situation in the office (he believes we should all take turns doing all the dishes rather than each of us just doing our own as we use them) Bob, give my regards to Fidel!
#2 Bob is actually a cross between Dwight and Andy from "The Office." Earlier I thought there were just some parallels to Dwight, but the shocking display of violence I witnessed today made me think he may actually need anger management....much like Andy.
#3 Bob may need a stronger dose of Nicotine gum, clearly he's still a bit jumpy...or he could just go back to smoking two packs a day...that was nice because it got him out of the office every hour or so.
I'm suppose to sit down with Bob and the bossman sometime soon now...at least it will be good for another entry here and hopefully some more laughs!
FREAKOUT!!!
Bob's ears must have started burning as I typed that first installment of the day, no sooner than I finished typing it up did the phone ring....and with that went Bob's hope of a gold star....
Bob answered the phone this time, so I was pretty excited and proud of him. To show my appreciation, I made my Alex Ovechkin bobble head bobble and nod in approval....and as you may have guessed by now...Bob did not find that very amusing and took his anger out on Mr. Ovechkin by grabbing him and throwing him to the floor. FREAKOUT!!!!!
Working on a Gold Star
It's almost 3:00 and I'll tell you what....Bob's been on pretty darn good behavior so far, there's a chance he might actually earn himself a gold star today. Right now the most likely cause of a FREAKOUT would be if his favorite baseball team (the Indians) loses their game against the Yankees....a former Indian's pitcher is pitching for the Yankees this afternoon which has upped the stress level of this game about 800% for Bob......he's monitoring the box score on the Internet....looks like one of his players was just caught stealing....that cause a bit of pinching of the bridge of his nose between the eyes...the stress level is building as this game goes on I think, but luckily his team is still ahead 1-0....now the question is do I start rooting for the other team? Or is this Internet baseball watching worthy of a write up?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Bob's looking out for me
This wasn't really a FREAKOUT...but it was odd behavior, so I figure it's fair to document.....
Bob got the mail today for the office (but still refused to aswer the phone...go figure) and I saw him flipping though one of the magazines we get at the office. As I'm sure you've figured out by now, it's not like Bob just to do things normally...so I'm not overly surprised to see him ripping a few pages out of the magazine, so I kept going about my work. About 10 minutes later (maybe it took Bob time to try to come up with something clever to say I really don't know) he slides one of the torn out pages over to me and says "here ya go" which for 10 mintues of thought I had hoped would be a lot more funny. On my desk is a picture of a lady and and article about her jewelery making business. Apparently Bob is concerned about my personal life and feels this lady is someone I need to date...cool thanks for the tip Bob, glad you're looking out for me. As you may imagine, I found the whole thing a little odd, usually when a guy coworker sends you a picture it's straight out of Maxim or the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue...but not Bob...this lady wasn't gross or anything, just kind of normal looking, not something you would really expcet to be torn out of a magazine (think housewife in a tv commercial)...so when I asked him that if he was really looking out for me to hold out for some ladies of that caliber I was informed I am a 12 year old....makes sense to me!
Bob got the mail today for the office (but still refused to aswer the phone...go figure) and I saw him flipping though one of the magazines we get at the office. As I'm sure you've figured out by now, it's not like Bob just to do things normally...so I'm not overly surprised to see him ripping a few pages out of the magazine, so I kept going about my work. About 10 minutes later (maybe it took Bob time to try to come up with something clever to say I really don't know) he slides one of the torn out pages over to me and says "here ya go" which for 10 mintues of thought I had hoped would be a lot more funny. On my desk is a picture of a lady and and article about her jewelery making business. Apparently Bob is concerned about my personal life and feels this lady is someone I need to date...cool thanks for the tip Bob, glad you're looking out for me. As you may imagine, I found the whole thing a little odd, usually when a guy coworker sends you a picture it's straight out of Maxim or the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue...but not Bob...this lady wasn't gross or anything, just kind of normal looking, not something you would really expcet to be torn out of a magazine (think housewife in a tv commercial)...so when I asked him that if he was really looking out for me to hold out for some ladies of that caliber I was informed I am a 12 year old....makes sense to me!
April 15 - Luchtime
Maybe it's the rain, or maybe he just got a good nights sleep, but nothing major to report so far today other than a mid morning sprint out to the parking garage to feed the meeter.....I did give him copies of the "write up" forms though I thought that was a pretty nice gesture, it may have even diffused the stress a little because I got a laugh out of him. At the moment it's just Bob, myself and another coworker in the office, so we've been taking turns calling the office phone and hanging up as soon as Bob answers, mean yes....but it's pretty funny and it's giving me good practice at not laughing (biting my lip) haha we'll see how long this lasts today...
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Write Up!!
No, I haven't been written up yet, I think Bob has given me yet another chance...however after discussing this with a few friends, I decided Bob might need an official "write up" form so he can make this "write up" official when it finally happens. Here are the two forms....I figure I'll be thoughtful and give Bob some options
April 14, 2009 - 12:15pm
Looks like today may be a fun one! No sooner did I finish typing my last entry when Bob walked back to his desk from the printer and informed me that was my last warning. If this "harassment" about the phone continues he will be "writing me up" and turning that into the boss. My laughter at that comment probably didn't help the situation too much, but I really couldn't help myself on that one. I then learned he was serious and I've just sealed my fate with said write up. The stress of that confrontation must really have got to him because he put about 4 pieces of nicotine gum in his mouth after his lecture.....if this "write up" really happens should make for an exciting installment later!
April 14, 2009 - 11:58am
Well it only took about 1 1/2 hours of Bob being back in the office before his first little melt-down...I'm hesitant to call in a FREAKOUT because it was a farily small little episode.
Our office is somewhat of a "studio environment" we don't have a secretary or admin or anyone who answers the phone, it's kind of a group responsibilty. Usually we take turns and share the responsibilty, one of those concepts we all should have learned back in pre-school.
The phone rang several time before another coworker picked it up. (I was on another line already) I glanced up over our desk divider (it's not quite a cube) and Bob told me I was "f#&$ing insane and he doesn't have to answer the phone every g*&d#*n time it rings" Well Tuesday is off to a good start. I wonder what would happen if I actually asked him to answer the phone?
Our office is somewhat of a "studio environment" we don't have a secretary or admin or anyone who answers the phone, it's kind of a group responsibilty. Usually we take turns and share the responsibilty, one of those concepts we all should have learned back in pre-school.
The phone rang several time before another coworker picked it up. (I was on another line already) I glanced up over our desk divider (it's not quite a cube) and Bob told me I was "f#&$ing insane and he doesn't have to answer the phone every g*&d#*n time it rings" Well Tuesday is off to a good start. I wonder what would happen if I actually asked him to answer the phone?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Mondy, April 13 2009
Well, our hero is still out of the office today, I'll have to see how the drive back went tomorrow...it usually makes for an intersting story. Since no FREAKOUTS have occured today (well I'm sure one occured, but probablly somewhere along I-70) I have decided that I will share a story from a past FREAKOUT to keep some interest in Bob here and to keep me in the habit of posting.
I'll call this event "Parking Meltdown #1" It was the first of many parking related "incidents" involving Bob. Our building has a parking garage, like many garages is costs money to park in our garage. Most people prefer a monthly parking pass, however Bob deemed this useless, he preferred to pay on a daily basis. Well, as often happens we needed to run some office related errands that required a vehicle which led to this particular FREAKOUT.
We're a small company and don't have in house computer people, so when one of our computers breaks we need to take it to the computer shop we use. The shop is about a mile or so from the office, which is kind of a long walk when trying to carry a computer. The bossmen asked Bob to drive us to the shop to drop off the computer...he agrees and off we go down to the parking garage..so far so good. All is going nice and smooth until we reach the attendant station. Since we were leaving the garage and had no monthly pass, we'd have to pay the $6 early bird parking fee. That was apparently an unacceptable option, I figured out this was unacceptable after Bob infromed me "this is bull$h&* I'm going back to the garage you're gonna have to figure soemthing else this isn't gonna work!" So before I had a chance to reach for my wallet I was instructed to get out of the car with the computer and that I'd have to walk to the shop or find another way to get the computer there. As soon as my feet hit the pavement, his car is in reverse going back down the ramp. After walking back up to our office and a short discussion with my boss we decide the stress of re-parking and needing to spend $12 for the day is apparently too much for Bob to handle. Another coworker and myself manage to pull together $6 and take her car to the computer shop.....disaster averted.
I'll call this event "Parking Meltdown #1" It was the first of many parking related "incidents" involving Bob. Our building has a parking garage, like many garages is costs money to park in our garage. Most people prefer a monthly parking pass, however Bob deemed this useless, he preferred to pay on a daily basis. Well, as often happens we needed to run some office related errands that required a vehicle which led to this particular FREAKOUT.
We're a small company and don't have in house computer people, so when one of our computers breaks we need to take it to the computer shop we use. The shop is about a mile or so from the office, which is kind of a long walk when trying to carry a computer. The bossmen asked Bob to drive us to the shop to drop off the computer...he agrees and off we go down to the parking garage..so far so good. All is going nice and smooth until we reach the attendant station. Since we were leaving the garage and had no monthly pass, we'd have to pay the $6 early bird parking fee. That was apparently an unacceptable option, I figured out this was unacceptable after Bob infromed me "this is bull$h&* I'm going back to the garage you're gonna have to figure soemthing else this isn't gonna work!" So before I had a chance to reach for my wallet I was instructed to get out of the car with the computer and that I'd have to walk to the shop or find another way to get the computer there. As soon as my feet hit the pavement, his car is in reverse going back down the ramp. After walking back up to our office and a short discussion with my boss we decide the stress of re-parking and needing to spend $12 for the day is apparently too much for Bob to handle. Another coworker and myself manage to pull together $6 and take her car to the computer shop.....disaster averted.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Friday, April 10 2009
Bob went back to his hometown for Easter so he's not in the office today. So since I just started posting, I'll have to start with yesterdays FREAKOUT. He was a little concerned that taking off Friday and Monday wouldn't go over so well with the bossman.....clearly taking two of your 10 vacation days is a reason to be fired. I guess between taking a job-jeapordizing Easter vacation and needing to prepare for a 7 hour drive home, the stress was too much to handle a slight computer issue and the daily FREAKOUT occured....
After hearing "godd*#$%" I realized I was in for a treat, I look over to see the mouse being pounded on the desk and some additional "godd$*#%" occured. Never one to let this go to waste, I decided to inform Bob that pounding his mouse was clearly the best way to solve his computer woes. Then in a brilliant move, he reverted back to 4th grade and threatened to tell on me. "do we need to go talk to the boss?" Well no Bob we don't but you do what ever makes you happy. He then refused to anwer the phone at his desk the rest of the day. Happy Easter Bob!
After hearing "godd*#$%" I realized I was in for a treat, I look over to see the mouse being pounded on the desk and some additional "godd$*#%" occured. Never one to let this go to waste, I decided to inform Bob that pounding his mouse was clearly the best way to solve his computer woes. Then in a brilliant move, he reverted back to 4th grade and threatened to tell on me. "do we need to go talk to the boss?" Well no Bob we don't but you do what ever makes you happy. He then refused to anwer the phone at his desk the rest of the day. Happy Easter Bob!
The beginning
This was inspired by a rather high-strung and stressed out coworker, usually a few times a week (each day if we're lucky) he has an incident that involves swearing at the computer, hitting himself on the head and general behavior indicative of a melt-down or good old fashioned FREAKOUT
We'll call him Bob so as not to have him read this and start a FREAKOUT of epic proportions.
We'll call him Bob so as not to have him read this and start a FREAKOUT of epic proportions.
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